OMG: Poor Taste, Bad Engineering Celebrated Again at Concours d’Lemons

OMG: Poor Taste, Bad Engineering Celebrated Again at Concours d’Lemons

08/15/2021

The Pebble Beach/Monterey Auto Week is a time to celebrate the beauty of the world’s most luxurious, sporty and elegant automobiles, those wheeled conveyances that transcend mere transportation and carry us off into the realm of glorious splendor that no other mechanical creation can.

And then there’s Lemons.

The Concours d’Lemons was founded to recognize poor taste, crappy build quality and weasley corporate decision-making. It consists of great examples of bad cars and terrible examples of good cars. For some reason the Cadillac Allente is seen as a standard bearer. This year was a veritable mental hospital of bad cars and the people who love them. Who can say why? Well, founder Alan Galbraith can.

“The Concours d’Lemons California came roaring back from quarantine with a field full of the worst cars imaginable,” said “Head Gasket” Galbraith. “From a choptop KV Mini to a 1969 Toyota Corolla Wagon that was more rust than wagon, the show offered much-needed relief to the expensive and often pretentious Monterey Auto Week. This is our biggest and dumbest show yet. The cars are truly terrible and everyone is having a great time.”

There were even awards. Griot’s Garage – an otherwise legitimate company – offered winners in each category a car care product gift basket that Galbraith said, “most of them sorely needed.” eBay Motors gave class winners a $100 gift card and the coveted “Worst of Show” winner even got a $700 gift card, “…which in most cases would double or triple the value of the cars involved,” Galbraith said.

Now, go visit your eyeball doctor, or maybe your psychiatrist, to see if you can scrub these visions from your brain forever.

No idea what this guy was saying, but the car might have been some sort of Mini.

Note the Beavis & Butthead shirt on this Subaru 360 owner. Also, proof that those St. Patrick’s Day cheap plastic hats can be worn throughout the year.

The couple that ignores each other… goes to Lemons on a date.

A tribute to Glorious Leader . This car has raced at Sonoma, albeit in a 24 Hours of Lemons event.

Wild Bill is a previous Worst of Show winner. This might be a motorcycle. Not sure.

This PPV Beach Buggy was made during the first oil crisis. It cost $500 new. Owner Jeff Niles talked the guy down to $8.

This, uh, “car” won Worst in Show. It’s a horse made out of a 55-gallon oil drum mated to (with?) some sort of Volkswagen chassis.

We met this guy and this ’61 Comet two years ago. It was for sale then and is still for sale now. I think I mentioned that last time, and even ran owner “Steve’s” phone number. Shows you the power of the press. Price was two grand but since he “won his class” in that previous Lemons, the car now has “provenance,” so the price is $2,500. Seriously, this thing is barely still a cohesive unit, consisting mostly of rust and leaded paint fragments. And yet… I must buy it. Who else wants in? We can share the car. You keep it in the summer and I’ll drive it in the SoCal winters. Serious enquiries only. Contact me through the comments section and I’ll get you Steve’s #.

No idea.

Not sure the theme here…

…but he had real $100 bills on the dash.

Glamour shot.

This guy has been to every Lemons of the modern era. Always looks sharp. And as you c an see, the collars match the cuffs. Swipe right, ladies!

Galbraith really splurged on the awards this year. I think those are La Leak Crystal.

I am ready.


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